Alpha Mum Speaks ! and the truth is ? both are right and both can be content with or with out kids!

Do kids spoil our happiness? It depends on what you mean by 'happy'
Kids won't make you happy, says Dr Nattavudh Powdthavee - research shows that parents are less happier than adults without children, and that includes not just the nappy-and-sleepless-nights phase, but also the coming-home-for-Christmas-with-their-families as well.

His analysis of the research, what it means, and why we continue have children in the face of it is intriguing. But I think in this instance research could have it wrong. Or could at least be tackling the subject from a skewed perspective of what happiness really is.

Too often these days we define happiness as the ultimate self-centred activity that is achieved via other self-centred activities. What makes us happy is treating ourselves to a spa day or a shopping spree or a holiday trekking in Indonesia. We find our perfect job and win an award and we're over the moon. We fall in love.

Rachel Cusk's terrific A Life's Work - possible the best book about motherhood, ever. She delves into all kinds of experiences in being a mother - not just the PR-led bits. She describes the anxiety and anger and guilt eloquently and meaningfully. It's made me revisit my motivations for becoming a mother and struggles with being one. It's called up memories when the first child is born, memories of my own childhood, engendered feelings that for the first time, one can understand parents more, both as childhood caretakers and also as people.

When people mention happiness these days you often get the sense it's something that can be achieved with a really good self-help book written by someone recommended by Oprah, or it's something conferred upon you once you attain a certain job or are profiled in Vanity Fair. These things can all be wonderful.